Dubious
by DearestEli
Summary: Sacrifice is tradition. Heartless is common. With everything at stake, will he be able to end it all and keep his life? Can he manage to alter the town of Chaim completely without that pang of regret? More importantly, can he do it alone?Read&Review.AUfic
1. Chapter One

**Disclaimer: **_I most certainly do not own Bleach or any of it's characters. However, I do own the character that Uryu represents seeing as how he represents "Keitaro" who is the main character in the book I am writing. :D_

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A/N:_ _It is now time for you to keep in my that this is my first fanfiction, though it isn't exactly a fanfiction since it wasn't written out of adoration for anything... Yes, written on a whim. Not really, though. This is actually straight out of the book I'm writing -- "Uryu" is a cover name for my character because I felt compelled to post my writing somewhere and couldn't quite post it here without it having some sort of reference to something... so I picked Bleach since it is one of those shows that I watch almost religiously.  
Alright, enough of my pointless ramblings. Enjoy! and review, damn it. I'm posting it for a reason and that's to have my writing criticized, pulled apart, analyzed mercilessly. So do your job and give reasonable reviews.  
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_My name is Ishida Uryu. Most people call me Keitaro. This nickname given to me by my past consociates means "blessed" but that is what I have learned that I'm not. I am one of the two people that the town despised, one of the two people that it had tried to rid itself of, the only person that it did rid itself of without bringing me to die._

_Did I do anything to deserve being banished as I was? No. A criminal act was not necessary. To think differently than __my fellow townspeople was all it took. It was because of this controversy over beliefs that my family's history was pulled into the mess. All mishaps involving what used to be my immediate family then somehow became my fault. I was suddenly responsible for my mother's unfortunate death, my father's drastic change afterwards, and then his eventual death. _

_These burdens that were so suddenly and so wrongly thrown upon my shoulders soon overpowered the spark of hope within me. This hope was that the town in which I resided would forgive me for whatever I did… or, more accurately, whatever they thought I did. _

_Yes, my hope was in vain. I know that now; for I am telling you this as I walk away from the place that I had once been able to call my home. I walk away now knowing that I will never look back and never return…_

Smoke rose eerily blanketing the once clear night sky. I could only hope that it was not the home of someone I knew, though my luck had proven itself to be useless or, more likely, nonexistent many times in the past. See, my town, Chaim, had its traditions and rituals just like any other place in the world. One such "tradition" included sacrifices. No, not the kind that involved the public torture and eventual death of a person – that would be simple blasphemy. Chaim was a town where "sacrifice" meant to merely burn down someone's home. What if someone were to die in the process? Okay, it didn't really matter. The purpose was not to take life but to frighten it by reminding it that being taken was indeed a possibility.

The concept was sickening, and I grew more remorseful as I listened to the unfaltering wails of a girl within the burning house. No one could help her, and I knew that very well. To save someone from the sacrifice of their home was strictly forbidden. I also knew that, even if it were permitted, not one person would volunteer their help. Almost every person inhabiting Chaim was as heartless as a person of the living dead.

I turned to my mother who was sitting silently behind me.

"Mother--" I began helplessly.

"Uryu," she said simply yet sharply, making me bite back my inquiring words. Her rust-colored locks fell across her eyes as she looked away. Her attempt to hide her tear-ridden eyes was in vain; for, I saw her blue eyes shining with new-forming tears. She had always been oddly emotional during the town sacrifices. The reasons for this were left unknown to me. Though I would ask countless times, my mother did not see it fit to burden her only child with her troubles concerning the past. In the past, her lack of explanation often left me feeling betrayed. I often thought, "_Does she truly believe that she is unable to trust me with her problems?_"

I was wrong to think that. Her thoughts were for her to know. They were hers to share—to express—when she felt that she was ready to. Judging by her still continuing silence, that time had not yet come.

After a moment, she looked up at me and gave me a reassuring smile to signal that she was fine—that there was no need for me to worry about her or question her. With that, she stood and walked into our own home with a sigh of relief. Relief because it was not our home being sacrificed, but someone else's.

With my mother no longer present, I began to ask myself question. Out loud, mind you.

"Whose house was it tonight? The scream… that voice seems so familiar to me. Could it really be someone that I know? No… it just couldn't be…" I shut my eyes in an attempt to somehow clear my mind of all unorganized thoughts. My face tilted up toward the sky, I slowly opened my eyes. Before I realized it, silence had blanketed the night. My eyes drifted their focus to the direction of the once burning house only to see faint hints of smoke begin to disappear. The house was now a sight of ruins—of ashes and pain.

A sad sigh escaped me as I walked into my home—into its comforting warmth, its comforting existence. The townspeople controlling the system of sacrifice would also apologize to all for causing yet another death in the morning. This was part of the "tradition". Burn a house, _accidentally _increase the town's number of casualties for the year, and give a pathetic apology the following day. Of course, the apology's purpose would be not to offer solace but to patronize the mourning mercilessly and indirectly. It was the way of this place that I'm forced to call home.

No need to jump to conclusions about Chaim, though. If not for the townspeople behind the sacrifices, it could possibly have been a decent place to inhabit. It's buildings were cleverly built of excess stone supplied by a nearby and forgotten mine. The people in general (meaning not as individuals) were fairly nice to others but only if necessary. They were all the kinds of people that would tend to be more reserved. I suppose it would be safe to say that Chaim was the sort of place that could be mistaken for me when described.

It was a place of intelligence, though the intelligence was not flaunted mercilessly. It was a city worth being called "cute" because, though cleverly made, the buildings were all fairly small. It was located deep within wherever you'd interpret to be the middle-of-nowhere to be, yet it was not unreachable. It was a pleasant quiet, but was filled with easy conversation. It was "sarcastic" in a sense, but not to the point of cruelty. It was strong with military-like forces, but had restraint. It was friendly with reserves.

That was Chaim, and that is me. Funny how I can say I hated the place that was just like me...

No matter how much Chaim was similar to myself, there were differences. The closemindedness of the place was what got to me. It was a place purely based on tradition. To get rid of the aspect would "surely destroy the base on which the town was built upon", as the leaders would say. My response to that has always been the same and will always remain the same: "Do you not think that what you have done as the leaders of Chaim has made the place strong enough to withstand the removal of what you call the base? You should have more confidence in your work."

It was as though the town could simply not go on without being able to ruin or end the lives of others. Such a pathetic place, eh? I would say so, but to an extent. For me to say that it is an entirely pathetic place would be a lie, and lying is something that I look down upon. The highlight of the town? What decreases its level of deplorability? Well, I suppose I could say that the education is of high value, but why say that when there is much more to the place than that? Chaim was an estimable town in the sense that it would wholeheartedly defend itself and beliefs. Yes, wholeheartedly despite the heartlessness of all who would fight. It was not a place that would back down from anyone or anything -- quite admirable, but, again, to an extent. Admirable promptly becomes disgraceful when the townspeople become too ignorant and fail to see that losing a dispute over beliefs is inevitable. Ignorance, however, is bliss, but only if you are ignorant. No worries for Chaim, though. I'm certain that it is free of sensible people, excluding myself from that count.

These descriptions of Chaim make it seem as though stopping the use of sacrifice as tradition would be a simple task. Believe me, it actually should be simple, and it would be if not for the fact that I am alone in this assignment. Finding a way to cease such destruction of resources and life has been on my mind for over six years. If only I could find a companion, someone who thinks as I do, if only such a person could actually exist in this godforsaken place...

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Your favorite part (and mine a well) of reading stuff comes up now. Exactly. Time to review what you have just read. Simple task? I think so. So far, I happen to like my story. To me, it has a lot of voice. Of course, here, my opinion counts for nothing. That's where you come in.  
Why are you still reading this part? Go and review! You're doing a poor job if you insist on reading my ramblings instead of doing what you have been assigned, silly child.  
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	2. Chapter Two

**Disclaimer: **Um... not mine. However, the town leaders? Mine. Uryu's mother? Mine. Uryu's father? Mine. Uryu's cat? Mine. Kana? Mine. His daughter? Mine. The man referred to as "little man" who makes no other appearance? Mine. haha, okay I'm done. And I was kidding about the cat. I don't plan on including a cat at all. P

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A/N: _The last chapter wasn't as long as I had originally wanted it to be but I decided that prolouges shouldn't be so long anyway. I was surprised at hos many hits I got. I thought my summary was too pathetic to catch anyone's attention -- but with so many hits, I only got one review. Geez, people. If you read something, you should have the courtesy to makes comments about it, too.  
Anyway, this chapter is longer than the last... just not by much._

_Read it.  
Enjoy it.  
Review it.  
:D  
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_You'd think that a town of so small a size, a town with so few people would be easily read. Chaim was not that way or it believed that it was not that way. _

_All who inhabited the place wore a mask. Opaque masks. Not just the regular citizens were this way. The town leaders followed his example, set this example to follow. The people of Chaim thought that if could manage to not be as transparent as the common man, their control over the town would not waver, would not fade even in the slightest._

_"If not one person can see through our cover, or fascade, then we, the town of Chaim, will remain as powerful as we presently are. Our power will only be able to increase from this point. We must not show weakness so we may able to achieve this goal. We must always appear stoic to outsiders. This is how it is to be. Only this way, we will be the most powerful, more powerful than all others." _

_This was what the town lived by. Too long to be a saying, don't you think? I would agree, but the town leaders would not. After all, that is what they came up with themselves._

_It could be said that Chaim was a place of overconfidence, and that did not suit it in the least._

_I always thought that this "saying" was simply... stupid. Any fool could see through the hightened opacity of this town. Even I, an "outsider", could see through it and I was merely a child of fifteen years. I have always been able to see past the masks. I am still able to see past them. And even now, as the town leaders instruct the common citizens to relocate themselves to the heart of Chaim (the town square, if you will), I am still able to see through them. _

_And when the town leaders being to apologize from "the bottom of their heart", I will continue to see through them; for, the opacity of the mask will slowly disintegrate as the town leaders struggle to maintain their excitement -- their excitement over death, excitement over death that has taken place by their hands, excitement over death taken place during a sacrifice that they commanded. _

_Hayato, Isamu, Katashi, Noboru, Osamu, and Takahiro took great pride in their actions as the town leaders. Peoples such as them do not deserve to be described as"noble". Their status in Chaim, no matter how high it was, was all but respectable. However, all respected the six._

_I am really in this alone? Perhaps it's better this way._

"People of Chaim, it is in my deepest regrets that I inform you of an unfortunate mishap concerning last night's sacrifice."

One sentence and wails could already be heard throughout the crowd of people. Masks of the formerly stoic quickly faded with those words stated by Hayato.

"You, ass! How could you people allow yet another death to take place? What kind of people are you? Do you never think to search the houses beforehand?" The agonized cry of a middle-aged man rang out above all other wails. Immediately, all eyes drifted in the direction of the now cowering figure. The eyes of the leaders narrowed into a glare in obvious disgust due to his rude outburst.

"Little man," Takahiro began looking the man up and down, "are you really so foolish as to challenge us? You know very well that we will not search the houses. You people should be more alert in the future. That is how you will prevent more deaths. The girl was simply in the wrong place at the wrong time and she failed to save herself."

More cries rang out. Profanity was tossed around carelessly. There were yells of sadness, anticipation, and anger. The name of the girl had not yet been revealed. Of course, I doubted that it would be until the very end of the "heartfelt" apology. It wouldn't be normail for them to annouce the name first. In fact, for the name to be announced so early would be simply unethical. The people would have to suffer longer and remain oblivious to whom they were already mourning only to discover that they hadn't even known the dearly departed citizen and then continue on with their lives as if nothing happened.

"Again, I am deeply sorry for the inconvenience that this may cause you." Hayato continued, "I can only imagine how much pain you are all in at the moment. It is feeling that I share with you as well."

I rolled my eyes at that. His mask was long gone. All that you could see in his face was pure pleasure. His blue eyes were gleaming with joy. Hayato was enjoying this moment and his blissful look made that all too obvious, though he tried to hide it by turning his head away from the crowd and shielding his face with his ebony locks. He knew that no one was really paying attention to his face anymore, or that's what he thought since I was often overlooked.

"It is now time for us to reveal the name of our dearly departed fellow member of Chaim."

Noboru's words caused all conversation and tears to cease. People physically leaned in his direction in order to catch the name. After said, it would not be repeated. Noboru glanced at Isumu with a slight smirk as if signaling him to say the name.

"Unfortunately, we were not able to attain that information just yet." With that, the six town leaders turned and strolled casually away from everyone. Faces of confusion littered the area. I glared at the backs of the six men. They certainly were cowards. My bet was that someone imporant to the entire town, including them, had passed and they actually felt some guilt. Those "leaders" were never ones to put themselves in a position to be hated by all.

I gazed at the sea of people surrounding me. Looks of hate could be seen everywhere. It was obvious that the plan to hide the departed girl's name in an attempt to avoid earning the hatred of the town was in vain. This caused me to smile to myself. How foolish it was for them to think that us townspeople were so dense. Sure, some were, but the rest of us had been terribly underestimated ("us" referring to those who had been angered by the lack of a name to give).

"Those bastards probably failed to gather the information. Give them until tomorrow and they'll surely tell us the girl's name."

Hearing that immediately brought me back into my reality. Not one person, with the exception of myself, knew that the information was purposefully being withheld. Not one person, with the exception of myself, could see through the so called "leaders". Not one person, with the exception of myself, had any sense whatsoever and that was starting to irritate me to no end.

I growled in frustration earning a few curious stares. My frustration promptly reverted to embarressment as I hastily made my way through the crowd and back to my home with a tinge of red creeping up my face. I pushed my glasses up to hide my face in its flushed state and sincerely hoped that no one could see through my own mask and into the shy introvert I really was. Cursing myself, for slipping up the way I did, I slowed my pace and walked semi-casually towards my house. Part of me didn't want to return there. Surely my mother would want me to inform her of the events, which was my reason for going to the town squre to begin with, but I did not wish to be there when she erupted with an anger directed towards the "idiotic six", as I often referred to them as.

Upon approaching my destination, I hesitated. Someone was watching me, I was sure of it. Glancing behind me, I spotted a girl my age who appeared to be reading. She looked up almost nervously as though she were aware of being caught. Meeting my gaze with her brown eyes peeking through her ebony colored hair, her face took upon a sudden look of shock. Before any words could be exchanged, she ran. Where? I don't know. To be perfectly honest, I couldn't care less. I had no idea who she was, must've been new to the place. At this point, she could die in next week's sacrfice and I wouldn't give a damn. Better to lessen the amount of newcomer's in Chaim than lessen the amount of life longers. It was only fair.

Turning back to my house I walked up the front steps and walked inside, ready to face the wrath of my mother. If I had known what I was walking into, I guarantee that I would never have returned there. I would never have gone back to my house for the rest of my life or I would have at least prolonged my arrival there by pursuing the mysterious girl that I had "encountered" outside. I was walking straight into close proximity with... blood.

In front of me stood a man that I had never before seen and in his hand was a recently used knife, blood dripping steadily from the blade as it hung almost limply at his side. My eyes widened and I backed away. I couldn't think to do much else. My vision was blurring due to the uneasiness I felt in my stomach.

_So much blood..._

"Hey, kid. What's with you?" His words brought my back almost instantly. Why was this stranger in my house, holding a bloody knife, and talking to me as if nothing completely horrible was going on. I steadied myself and instantly narrowed my eyes at him.

"Who are you?" I questioned coldly. Good, I had regained my composure only to be thrown off yet again with one glance in the direction of the knife -- still dripping with blood, I might add. Once again, I was on the verge of unconsciousness. I had all but lost my balance but I stumbled back a few steps.

"Kid, you're not looking to well. Sit down before you hurt yourself," the man said. Funny, I swear I could sense some concern in his voice. That couldn't be, though. This man could have been a murderer. With my mother nowhere in sight, it's possible that he already killed her. The thought caused me to fight back tears of anger and sadness.

"Where's my mother?" Yet another question. Why wasn't this guy answering me? Against my better judgment, I asked him just that. "Why do you not answer my questions, you filthy bastard? You deaf or something? Answer me!" The unwavering tone in my voice surprised me and I failed to conceal that surprise.

"So I see you're not usually so demanding, boy. You're rudeness is certainly not impressive. I suppose I'll have to discuss that with your mother... but if you must know, I'm your new neighbor, Shigenoi Kana. Your mother just brought over some fish as a welcoming gift and I offered to bring it over and prepare dinner for all of us. What? Did you think I was some murderer that had come here and killed your mother?"

I flinched at his last question. Damn, I felt stupid. It wouldn't hurt to ask one last thing, though.

"Who's 'us'?" I asked with one eyebrow raised. Smirking automatically, I applauded the sarcastic tone that my voice held in those two simple words.

"Well, that would be you, your mother, your father, myself, and my daughter, I guess. Where is your father anyway? Your mom said that he'd be here soon. Sure hope he decides to show up at some point. Wouldn't want his food to get cold."

"Don't get your hopes up," I spat. My father, Ishida Ronin, and I weren't exactly on good terms. His failure to make a regular appearance in my life was the cause of that. At all times, his work held the most importance to him. As long as that was going well, nothing else really mattered. Well, except my mother. While the guy didn't really care much for me at all, his heart always had a spot for his dear Ishida Mamoru. At least he could be passionate about things outside of work...

All too suddenly, there was a knock on the door.

"Must be my daughter. Get that, will ya?"

His lack of manners was not in good taste. Of course, I hadn't been what could be called "polite" when I met him. I sighed in defeat and opened the door. There stood the girl that I had seen not too long ago. My jaw became rigid and she winced noticibly. Her eyes drifted to mine and she gazed into them for a considerable amount of time before she bowed hastily.

"My name is--" she began.

"Shigenoi." I stated simply yet harshly. "Come in."

She flinched at the harshness of my voice but recovered swiftly and made her way into the living room only to continue reading as she had be doing earlier. I glanced in her direction before finally shutting the door. I started towards the living room to join the girl when she saw me coming, hastily stood and stated that she had forgotten something of "great importance". I turned back to the door and opened it for her. She looked somewhat taken aback. Nervousness was written all over her face. You could read her like a book.

As she walked through the door, I drew in a breath.

"My name is Uryu." I said trying to be at least remotely friendly to her.

She paused and bit her lip uneasily. Tilting her head to face me, she simply stead her name, "Midori."

With that, she continued on her way to retrieve her item of "great importance". I wondered what she would bring. It was apparent that she had only used that as an excuse to stay away from me. Who knows why she would go through such lengths to do so? Not that it bothered me in the least. As I said before, she could die in next week's sacrifice and I wouldn't give a damn.

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_Is Midori the one person that he had hoped existed? Perhaps. You'll just have to read to find out and, believe me, it won't be revealed in the next chapter. So review this one if you read it. Yes, REVIEW. I should probably be polite about it, though... ahem Please review this chapter. I would greatly appreciate it. :D_

_Until next time!_

_DearestEli ♥_

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